Mike Eide may be a despicable Giants fan from New York, but other than that he's alright by me. He writes in with this PRO TIP on how to dress up your shitty swill beer in one simple step, just in time for the Super Bowl.
Sorry wild man, but Buddy Weiser, Dickie Pabst and that Schafer jerk are the worst. Those goons offer you nothing but a generic, flat-ass taste that dips off somewhere into the metallic. Gag, son.
Beer doesn't need to taste like a hop barn or a chocolate factory, but it does need to taste. My hopelessly urbane roommate, I-vo Berkonius, recently disc-jocked himself onto a new simple, yet effective recipe for making any cheap $2 special a bit more so. Try this: ask your local bartender for say, a can of Bud, but add - with bitters - to the order. I bet you he or she will not be all that quizzical about the request. In fact, they'll most likely agree that it makes a lot of sense, much like how thinking people innately understood relative physics before Einstein was able to articulate it.
Even if you think its sacrilege to add anything to your precious 99-cent tall boy, really, give it a shot, just once. It makes for a good conversation and debate, and will settle your tummy a little something. The initial bitter blast as you sip the lip of the can is the best, and the rest of the remaining brew will have a pleasantly rounded flavor. Just don't be surprised if you find yourself pissing bitters into your second Bloodshitter come next round.
Here's your soundtrack for mixing. Oh, and PATS SUX GMEN RULZ YOU FUCKING MASSSSHOOOLEZ!!!, so on and so forth.