This is why we can't have nice things. WFNX being sold to Clear Channel

Anyone in New England will instantly understand how sad this news is. For those of you who don't know, 101.7 WFNX is a legendary radio station here in the Boston area that to this day, well, not this day I guess, continues to surprise and excite me with the new music they play and the chances they've been willing to take to expose listeners to new music, to support New England bands, and to keep the spirit of what radio used to be about alive -- even if they did play one too many Chilli Peppers songs from time to time to keep the []'s engaged. The Boston Phoenix, who own the station, announced this morning they are selling it to Clear Channel. 

Getting updates for Facebook events you aren't going to

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What's going on with this new "upgrade" on Facebook where I get a notification every time someone posts in an event to which I never replied saying I would attend (aka felt bad for my promoter friend so wanted to "support the scene" by artificially making it look like people were actually going to his thing.) This shit is driving me insane.

"Stop complaining about it" says that one dude who invites you to lots of things. Or "turn off event notifications altogether." Well, good point, but I don't mind being made aware of happenings in my "local scene", and in fact I like having an events page to scroll through when I'm actually looking for something to do.  I just don't want to have to fight against the incessant tyranny of the red number all day for the privilege; it's like bailing out a boat with a hole in the bottom, and through the hole you can see the floating, water-bloated visages of the corpses of your friends' boring creative aspirations. 

FUCKKKK YOUUUUUUU

If I'm going to move my wrist three inches upward to point at something on a screen so I can click on it and make it disappear it better be because someone I barely know was mildly amused by a joke I wrote in three minutes to impress people I barely know on the internet. Otherwise it's just not worth the time investment. 

I've searched the settings on Facebook high and low for a way to disable this without any luck, so if any of you computer nerds want to sort me out here I'd be happy to repay you by not inviting you to any of my special projects for like one month. Three weeks tops. 

Stop eating fast food on the bus you fat fucks (repost Sundays)

PTSOTL headquarters

Riding the bus is probably the most quintessentially PTSOTL-y thing a person can do. I'm gonna be on the bus to New York again in a couple hours, so just to get myself prepared, and so I don't have to write this same exact post later, here's a pretty good prediction of what I'm going to be up against from the List archives.

We've covered that whole fat mess situation you guys have got going on over there pretty thoroughly here what with your eating at the movies, eating at sporting events, eating at places for eating, walking down the street with meatball subs falling out of your pockets all the time like a guy who just won the meatball sub lottery... But when you transfer that phenomenon into an enclosed space filled with total strangers it's taking things up a few notches. And you guys know how much I like to keep things precisely in the appropriate notch they started off in.

Having a shitty mom would be weird (repost)

That would be weird, right? Mother's Day is stupid on a lot of levels, all of which revolve around buying worthless shit, having brunch, being in any kind of gift store, and feeling obligated to do things, all of the same stuff that make every other holiday a waste of time. But unlike, say, Christmas, or St. Patrick's Day, or Valetine's Day, or birthdays, I can actually get behind the premise here, which is telling your mom thanks for not murdering you in the crib, or any of a thousand other times over the course of growing up you made her life a miserable hell. Not me, mind you.  I was a golden boy, but the rest of you litttle shits probably had it coming.

James Thurber on the damp hands of melancholy

I have known writers at this dangerous and tricky age to phone their homes from their offices, or their offices from their homes, asking for themselves in a low tone, and then, having fortunately discovered that they were “out,” to collapse in hard-breathing relief. This is particularly true of writers of light pieces running from a thousand to two thousand words.

Homophobe of the month award

Evan Kenney isn't scared of crazy people, he just doesn't think they're part of God's plan. He writes in with a guide to the craziest person/homophobe of the month who went way off her meds at a Lincoln, Nebraska City Council hearing this week. Video via Gawker.

This woman ate too many bites out of her crazy burrito one morning and decided to write up the strangest anti-gay rant in history. There is a lot of info regarding "homos" to take in here, but I am pretty sure that she states that gays make for terrible shoplifters, which I guess you have to be straight to excel at? Other important observations: 

Use your words: Karmin, Active Child, Mother's Day, cider, drinking, support local radio

Karmin, 'getting paper,' one presumes

For you perverts who like things that I write about things, here's some of the amazing stories about engaging people doing creative things with their unique talents that I wrote about elsewhere this week. Karmin, Active Child, Downeast Cider, hand-select spirits barrels, Bats in the Belry on WMBR and Mother's Day drinking below. 

Real talk from your writer

SPEND HOURS CRAFTING PERFECT LEDE. DESTROYED BY EDITS IN 30 SECONDS.

I guess this is the thing I'm doing now. Go follow it or reblog it or whatever it is you kids do on Tumblr. I can't even really figure out how to respond to questions on there yet. Tumblr, I want to point out, is still making us stupid.

Terrorist baby stopped from boarding flight at the last minute

via

Everyone is up in arms today about this 18 month old girl Riyanna [something Muslim-sounding, I'm guessing] who was stopped from boarding a Jet Blue flight. There are conflicting reports about whether or not it was the TSA who flagged the girl or Jet Blue, but the fact remains, everyone involved is owed a huge debt of gratitude. Not for keeping us safe from terror, but because no one wants to fly with a goddamned wiener kid on the plane. 

Then again, kids are getting awfully brazen with their attempts to bring weapons onto planes this week. Maybe we're better safe than sorry.

Man vs Goose with lightsabers

One of nature's most long-standing rivalries reaches its epic conclusion. This is already better than the last three Star Wars movies. Original after the thing. [via Boing Boing]