|io9 via Coral Reefs via ScienceNOW|
There's been a lot of talk lately about people mistaking The Onion stories as real, like this post I did on Internet Gullibility Syndrome, particularly with the popularity of the Literally Unbelievable blog. But what about all the times when The Onion is an eerily accurate predictor of the future? What the fuck then, wise guy?
Remember this classic from way back in 2000? Dolphins Evolve Opposable Thumbs. "I believe I speak for the entire human race when I say, 'Holy fuck,'" said Oceanographic Institute director Dr. James Aoki, noting that the dolphin has a cranial capacity 40 percent greater than that of humans. "That's it for us monkeys."
Haha, good one, The Onion. Turns out they were just a little bit off. We're still all fucked anyway, as io9 writes.
This blackspot tuskfish, found in Australia's Great Barrier Reef, held a clam in its mouth and smashed it against a rock to reach the food inside. This photo is the first incontrovertible proof that fish are capable of tool use.
While tool use was once seen as a uniquely human behavior, decades of animal observation has proven just how wrong that really was. We've seen primates, crows, and maybe even octopuses show signs of tool use. But outside of mammals, birds, and octopuses, tool use is close to unknown. There were reports of fish tool use, but no hard evidence to back it up.
If only there were some sort of Simpson's reference I could make here that captures the message I want to send to these sure to be marauding fish hordes.