Woh. These recordings, or "blags" if you will (via Street Carnage) from Jesse Michaels of the punk rock band Operation Ivy are exactly what I've been wanting to say to you guys about life and music and caring about anything in general forever.
"What's your favorite bar you've been too lately?" "Seen any good shows this week bro?" Ugh, fuuuuuuuck you. Who gives a shiiiiiit?
Sadly, I can't use that gold now because he's already done it better than me. In his case it's people wanting to talk about music and "thrash metal."
I really couldn't have heard anything that would make me happier and more content to be a miserable misanthropic, anti-capitalistic cunt than this today. Listen and enjoy. Fuck you. Here's the general jist if you don't have audio at work or whatever, but his disgusted delivery is pretty key.
"Hi my name is Jesse Michaels, I'm a local music asshole. This is my blog. You know, a lot of people ask me, 'Hey what's the best thrash metal band?' and I always answer the same thing 'Go fuck yourself.'You see, I don't really like music... What I like doing is lying in a bathtub, taking a shit, and calling it self spa treatment. I'm a fucking dickhead, got that? I don't like music, I'm upset about capitalism, and there aint no god, mommy. So, if you want to know about music go to the fucking mp3 store or whatever shit people are shitloading into their fuck. Thank you. Fuck off.""Hi my name is Jesse Michaels. I'm a popular local musician, if you measure popularity in self hatred and failure. This is my music blog. You know, this week someone asked me, they said 'Jesse Michaels, I love thrash metal and I want to go to the gig, but there's just one problem. Sometime a pit starts and I'm not sure how to do it right.' Well, this is a common question, and I usually answer it one of two ways. Either I punch myself really fucking had in the mouth, or I start crying because I hate life so much.Basically what I'm trying to say is 'Fuck you, ok?' I don't give a shit about gigs. I don't like gigs, ok? The world is controled by the wealthy, who are grinding everybody else's life into shit. And Lord Jesus aint doing nothing about it, you know? Keep praying, I'll be over here eating my own shit, you know? And calling it a personal blessing. Fuck off. I don't want to talk about records, I don't want to go to the gig. It doesn't help anymore. There was a time when I fell for the parlor tricks. 'Ooh, the Bad Brains!' Who gives a shit? 'Oh, Glenn Danzig wrote a good song!' Fuck me. You know what I mean? Fuck me, fuck my ideas. Where is god? Oh god are you here? No not over here. I know, iIll look somehwere else. Meanwhile fucking Exxon is shitting on my face, all day long, and your's too. Welcome to the family, you know I love you a lot. Get fucked."
That, that is just poetry. Perfect poetry. See the other one over at Street Carnage.