This American Life uncovered what may or may not be the top secret recipe for Coke this week which is probably really exciting news for 13 year old chemists with mean parents. I can't help but think there's something missing from that recipe though.
Fortunately PTSOTL has exclusively uncovered a step by step formula for recreating the sensation of what it was like to drink Coca Cola back in 1885, like the Pilgrims and your mom did.
|I just took like three nervous shits in 20 minutes, but I'm primed to party.|
|Dude, so glad you came by. Things are going pretty good with the band, yeah man. Just working on my projects you know, getting a ton of interest. I think the joke blog might take off soon actually.|
|Just sitting on the ground like it's nothing, you know what I mean? This is gonna be the best night ever.|
|I feel like a fucking kid again, like when you had an early release on a Friday and just the weekend ahead of you to do whatever you want. I haven't felt like this in years.|
|because of tits.|
|We are best fucking friends right now because we're in on this together. it's like an undercover spy force, but our mission is to be besties for life.|
|Oh shit, I need to walk this one off for a minute bro.|
|Maybe I'll just push through it and try to even out.|
|Is that dude looking at me?|
|Even my boner fantasies are fucking with me right now. green bitches and shit.|
|I'm just gonna go chill over here for a minute in the other room.|